I am ashamed to admit that joyful and uplifting are not two words that I could use to describe myself over the past month. Quite the contrary, I feel like I have been having somewhat of a pity party for myself. I graduated from college last Saturday. A week ago. It's only been a week. And in the month surrounding graduation, I probably cried more than any other month in my life.
Even as I was crying, I recognized that, in a way, they were happy tears. If college hadn't been so exceptionally wonderful, I wouldn't have minded leaving it so much. If my friends, teammates and acquaintances hadn't brightened up my days so much, leaving them for new experiences wouldn't have been so difficult. Basically, my mindset was: Life at college was awesome. Life after college will not be as awesome.
How ignorant of me! How pathetic and unfair of me!
The truth: What I was communicating when I really got down to it was that I didn't believe that God could possibly bless me more than he already had. I wouldn't acknowledge that he could possibly make me appreciate and love my life beyond college more than my life in college. And, frankly, that's ridiculous. God could very well make the next year the best year. And, more importantly, he may use me to do even more powerful things for Him in the following years than I was able to do in the past.
Essentially, I certainly do not know what the future holds, but God certainly does.
I need to have faith, to trust that the future God has planned for me is going to provide me with infinitely many opportunities to shine His light and to further His kingdom. Moping about how much college life meant to me will do neither. Now, I don't regret my sadness at graduating. I know God forgives me for the lack of perspective I had throughout the process, and I know He understands how I feel leaving the friends and activities that I love. But the love for them doesn't have to end and the friendships don't have to end. Ever. How cool is that? Very. Cool.
I know that Satan is smart. He's using good things from God to try to turn me against God. And I admit that I let him do it. But I'm done.
It's time to appreciate the rich and satisfying life that Christ has in store for me:
The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.
- John 10:10