Motivation

It's remarkable that I'm actually in a good mood right now. I know that I have a horrible night ahead of me. I know that by morning I will be miserable. The beauty of this knowledge is that with it I can realize that taking the time to meet my blog quota for the week is well worth it. Don't spend too much time trying to figure out why that makes writing worth it. It's a concept that's probably well beyond the mental capacity of a normal human being. Trust me.

I suppose there's nothing left to do but plow forward fearlessly into it...

Even as I typed that, I supposed that some grand idea would pop into my head. But it hasn't come. Some days, I could write for hours on a million topics. I could ramble. I could profess. I could defend. I could reveal. Today is not one of those days.

It's just not worth writing without the motivation for it. I need passion behind my writing. I need to feel what I'm writing, not just think it, and though I may be able to call upon thoughts at a time of need, feelings are a much more fickle friend.

Motivation is a battle for the heart, not just an appeal to the mind.

Patrick Dixon

Whenever I write something of any consequence (which refers to anything written of my own free will, i.e. not for class), I reread it later. It's inevitable. I love to read what I've written. I'm not sure how I come off saying that, but I don't care. My writing comes out so close to my actual thoughts that when I reread a progression of thought in written word, I'm transferred back to that moment. That rush of feeling. That point of time in my life. The accuracy of this emotional transfer can be dangerous. It can make me relive some things I never want to remember. But it can also transport me to times that were so wonderful I thought them indescribable. And maybe I don't experience them again in their fullness, but I certainly feel the echo. The beauty of a moment is not entirely lost when I capture it in writing.

And that, as much as anything else, is why I write. I hope against hope that someone else might read my thoughts and feel the echo, too. Not as clear as my own echo (for no one understands me as well as I understand myself), but still clear enough to affect their emotions. To influence the emotions of others, not the thoughts of others, is my goal. I don't want to convince the world that what I think is correct. I want to move the world to feel what I feel, and I want to hear what they think about that feeling.