Yes. I've hit "that point."
The point where I want to write a blog entry, but I have no idea what I want to write it about. I hate that point. But here I am. I suppose I'll just let my thoughts flow out onto the screen as they will...but I give you no guarantee that they will be coherent or fluid or interesting at all.
It's always been one of my pet peeves having someone else tell me how I'm feeling. I'll try to give a sort of example to illustrate what I mean.
I'm a passionate person. Some people mistake this "passion" for anger. In other words, when I'm discussing something passionately, they assume that I'm upset. And upon deciding that I'm upset, they feel the need to tell me to "calm down." Along with the fact that I dislike when people tell me to "calm down" when I'm actually upset, I despise when people tell me to "calm down" when I'm simply being passionate. Then I try my hardest to inform them that I am not, in fact, upset. The problem is that by this point, they've presumed to know more about my own emotions than I do, which makes me upset. It's a vicious cycle. And, even if I managed to deny the fact that I'm upset in a very calm way, they often continue on..."Yes, you are."
Excuse me? I've just told you that I'm not upset. It's not as though determining my emotions is some fun guessing game in which I'm trying to deceive those around me. To have someone tell you that they know you better than you know yourself is slightly, if not entirely, condescending.
If I tell you I'm feeling a certain way, that's how you need to assume I feel. It could be that I'm not telling you the whole truth, or that I'm disguising my feelings for a good reason, but that's very rarely the case with my close friends. If you can't trust my own opinion of how I'm feeling, then maybe I don't trust you enough to share them. If you do trust me, you'll just accept what I say...and accept that I'll tell you my full meaning when I feel comfortable. I don't set out to hide things.
This rant isn't really meant to frighten anyone from ever asking me how I feel or tell me I'm looking a little out of it. It's sort of a releasing of frustrations built up over years of people "calming me down."
Ha. This is what I meant when I said I might come off as a mean person.
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5 comments:
Marjorie, this blog entry is OUT OF CONTROL! Just calm down, OKAY? CALM. DOWN.
Just kidding. Obviously.
Isn't it funny how people sometimes just WON'T believe you when you tell them how you're feeling?
"I'm not angry at all."
"YES, YOU ARE."
"But...*I* would know, wouldn't I?!"
Frustrating, at best. Fortunately, I rarely have the "calm down" problem because I'm not passionate about things and I don't speak my mind! Woo hoo! :)
Anyway, another solid entry (which crept into the realm of "angry comedy," I do believe). Keep them coming (weekly)!
Marjorie, I could barely get through your post without cringing wildly at the thought of people doing that. What's even worse is the thought that it is possible that I, without meaning to, might have done this myself a couple times. Though I can't think of anytime in particular. I loved how this post was exactly what it was describing.
And I, like Andrew, also don't have to worry about it happening to me. Lucky us! I'm so reserved that I hardly ever speak my mind. And even if I did, I don't change expression or emotion. Or at least rarely.
hehe....although some of your blog entries are surprising to me in that it hadn't occured to me that you think about some of the things you apparently think about ....this entry did not surprise me. Because I already knew this about you. Do I ever tell you to calm down? I don't feel like I've had reason to in recent years, at least.
I just came across the blog randomly, but I am glad you wrote it. I HATE, HATE, HATE when people tell me to calm down. It's very irritating and, of course, now I can't argue with them because I am NOW upset with them for being irritating when I was fine when the told me to calm down in the first place. AGHHH!!!!
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